“Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for….it sounds like truth and feels like courage.” –Brene Brown
As silly as it may sound, writing this blog is actually very terrifying to me. Years ago, when I was a newly certified yoga teacher I was coached to think of ways to make myself stand out within a sea of yoga instructors. I remember someone advising me to start a blog. I immediately shot down the idea. The voice in my head shouted; “No one wants to hear what you have to say” and “you’re a terrible writer” and “you don’t have time.” The thought of spending hours of my precious time on something that people could read and subsequently judge seemed like a waste, but mostly just super scary.
A few weeks ago after watching a particularly inspiring webinar with my life/yoga mentor, Deborah Williamson, I recalled her coaching me years ago to “cut the bullshit.” She was speaking to the ways in which I held myself back in life by listening to my own “fear stories”. There have been times when these stories (I will be judged, people won’t like me, I’m not smart enough, I’m not strong enough) had a stern grip on my life. My fears ruled me. And in hindsight, I can see the root of my story around blogging and many other moments: I didn’t want to stand out. Standing out meant I was vulnerable. Vulnerability is f-ing scary. But like my girl Brene says- it also sounds like truth, and feels like courage. And little ole’ Liz had actually been courageous so many times in her life: I gave a lecture in Spanish to a panel of academics in Havana when I was 22, I went to graduate school, left an abusive relationship, performed in a magic show for 10 weeks in China, adopted a deaf dog, became the lead singer in a band, led my first yoga teacher training, and the list goes on. All of these decisions put me on the vulnerability train, but they ultimately became some of the most transformational experiences of my life. These were the moments in my life where I said yes to things that felt true to my core passion, despite the story in my head that tells me that I’m not good enough to stand out.
These days, the fear stories are still there to some degree, I just choose not to listen.
What I also find interesting is that I can so clearly spot other people around me that live like this. They are the people who always seem so connected to their hearts intention- they are living their passion. Only recently I am starting to consider that I am one of those people. And that, my friends, is a whole other blog post.
I hope you do that thing that scares you or the thing that makes you stand out, but that deep down you know is part of your hearts journey. And, I hope you’ll follow along for mine.
Namaste~